One of the most common questions new doulas ask me is:
How do you regulate your emotions during high-stress situations?
The simple answer is: breathing.
The fuller truth is: intention, practice, and self-awareness.
In labor and delivery, emotions run high… for clients, partners, providers, and yes, doulas too. Birth is intense, unpredictable, and deeply human. Pretending we’re unaffected doesn’t serve anyone. Learning how to regulate ourselves, though? That’s essential.
The breathwork I teach my clients is the same breathwork I’m using in real time.
When things feel tense, when plans shift, when the room energy changes… I breathe. Cleansing breaths aren’t just for laboring bodies. They’re for everyone in the room. Slow inhales. Intentional exhales. Grounding myself so I can stay present instead of reactive.
Breath is how I keep my nervous system regulated so I can show up as a steady, calming presence rather than another source of tension.
Another tool I rely on is note-taking.
Yes, I take notes for documentation and for my clients’ files, but that’s not the whole reason. Writing things down helps me mentally release what I’m holding. It allows me to stay focused in the moment, knowing I can process the emotions, questions, or frustrations later.
Notes give my thoughts somewhere to land.
After the birth, I can revisit them, reflect, and fully process what I witnessed, without carrying it all in my body during labor.
Regulating my emotions isn’t about suppressing them. It’s about managing them responsibly. My clients deserve a doula who is calm, clear, and grounded, even when things are intense. And I deserve tools that protect my mental well-being in high-pressure spaces.
Breathing. Writing. Awareness.
These aren’t fancy techniques, but they’re powerful. And they’re skills I believe every doula should practice, not just for the work we do, but for ourselves.
Comments
Post a Comment